tags (including their content). However we can rewrite the surrounding paragraph text while preserving the headings. The headings themselves are part of content; we cannot change them (they are
tags). The text inside the
tags after each heading can be rewritten, but we must keep the same headings. Also need to keep the initial paragraphs before first heading.
Let’s examine the structure:
– Image tag (with
) then first paragraph (p) about partner asking about Blue Dragon, mention VGC article link.
– Then paragraph “That’s cool! …” (p) about unofficial PC port.
– Then paragraph “I politely declined…” (p) about partner sending something.
– Then paragraph “That is, I kid you not…” (p) about battle music, Nobuo Uematsu.
– Then paragraph “Oh my God…” (p) about music style.
– Then paragraph “I love RPGs…” (p) about loving unconventional music.
– Then paragraph “It’s Friday…” (p) about celebrating Blue Dragon arrival.
– Then
OFF – Pepper Steak (heading). Paragraph about OFF, Pepper Steak theme, composer Alias Conrad Coldwood, Toby Fox and Camelia stepping in, link to YouTube.
–
Deep in Coma – Shadow Hearts: Covenant (heading). Paragraph about not played, theme for regular enemies.
–
Fit Battle – Ring Fit Adventure (heading). Paragraph about workout music.
–
New Age Retro Hippie – Earthbound (heading). Paragraph about Johnny B. Goode, licensing issues, link to YouTube.
–
Transformation – The World Ends With You (heading). Paragraph about soundtrack, picking Transformation as regular battle theme, link to YouTube remix.
–
Battle Theme – Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (heading). Paragraph about minigame music, upbeat, links to YouTube remix and other songs.
–
Mime Battle – Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 (heading). Paragraph about mimes, etc.
–
Chaotic Dance – Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean (heading). Paragraph about partner sending Blue Dragon theme, inclusion as bonus, note about rule.
– Final paragraph “Have a nice weekend, everyone!”
We need to rewrite as short natural article under 500 words. Let’s aim for about 400 words.
We need to keep the image tag exactly as is, and all tags exactly as they appear. That includes the href URLs and anchor text. Also need to keep
tags exactly as they are (including text). The text inside the
tags cannot be changed. So we must keep the headings exactly.
Now we need to rewrite the paragraph content while preserving the headings. The paragraphs before the first heading can be combined or shortened.
Let’s draft:
Start with image tag, then a paragraph summarizing the story: partner asks about Blue Dragon, unofficial PC port, link to VGC article. Then mention that I declined but later partner sent something.
Then paragraph about the battle music being composed by Nobuo Uematsu, describing its quirky style.
Then paragraph about loving unconventional RPG music, and that it’s Friday, so let’s listen to other wacky battle themes (excluding boss themes).
Then we have headings. For each heading, we need a paragraph (or maybe two) that describes the theme, but we can rewrite concisely.
We must keep the tags exactly. So for each link we need to keep the same anchor text and href. For example, in OFF paragraph: “Toby Fox and Camelia” must stay exactly. Also the text around it.
We need to ensure we don’t add extra tags or modify existing ones.
Let’s rewrite each paragraph:
Paragraph 1 (before first heading): “Earlier today, my partner asked if I’d ever be interested in playing the 2007 Xbox 360 RPG Blue Dragon. Even in our gaming‑centric home, the question seemed odd, but he explained that an unofficial PC port has surfaced (as spotted by VGC). It’s great that the game will finally be playable outside the Xbox 360.”
Paragraph 2: “I turned down the invitation because I’m busy, but later he sent me the regular‑ass battle music from Blue Dragon, composed by Nobuo Uematsu of Final Fantasy fame.”
Paragraph 3: “The track starts with a few guitar measures, then a wailing, slightly out‑of‑tune vocal line with 90s‑style anime lyrics, all while rocking hard to keep battle momentum alive.”
Paragraph 4: “I love RPGs that aren’t afraid to be unconventional with their music—calm boss themes, sad field music, odd lyrics, rare instruments. Since it’s Friday, let’s celebrate Blue Dragon’s PC arrival by listening to other wild, regular battle themes (not boss fights).”
Now headings:
OFF – Pepper Steak
Let’s start with an oldie but goodie: Pepper Steak (or, if you run with the typo, Peper Steak). Oh, sorry, you think this one is disturbing? Yeah, it’s meant to be. OFF is an RPG about a baseball player “purifying” a messed-up world of blood and meat and plastic by murdering all the ghosts who live in it. Yes, really. Pepper Steak is probably its most infamous theme, with its weird, haunting swing and frequent dissonance and irregular rhythms. Alias Conrad Coldwood, the composer, was unable to return for the 2025 remake, so Toby Fox and Camelia stepped in to make themes for each different zone instead of one overarching Pepper Steak replacement. I have not a single bad word to say about anything Fox has ever composed, but I do think (and he seemed to agree in his statement about it) that it was always going to be impossible to replace Pepper Steak.
We can keep this paragraph but maybe shorten a bit while preserving content. Must keep the tag exactly. Also keep the heading unchanged.
Deep in Coma – Shadow Hearts: Covenant
I haven’t personally played Shadow Hearts, but I guess this battle theme plays when you go to Japan? Anyway, someone has tried to explain the plot of this game to me a few times, and it hasn’t stuck, but dang if this isn’t an absolutely bonkers thing to have as your regular, normal battle theme for regular, normal enemies for a good chunk of the game.
We can rewrite: “I haven’t played Shadow Hearts, but this battle theme is bizarrely used for ordinary enemies throughout much of the game, despite its puzzling plot.”
Fit Battle – Ring Fit Adventure
Nintendo, when are you putting this on the Nintendo music app? This is just workout music. Which I guess is, like, appropriate for the game. But you didn’t have to go this hard.
Rewrite: “Nintendo, why isn’t this on the Nintendo Music app? It’s workout music, which fits Ring Fit Adventure, but they really turned it up a notch.”
New Age Retro Hippie – Earthbound
I don’t need to explain why this is in here, right? This is just Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry. The Mother games are all music licensing hell, and I strongly suspect that similar issues in Mother 3 are why we’ll never get an official Western localization. I cannot believe they just put this classic into Earthbound and attached it to the hippie battles. Wild choice.
Rewrite: “This is simply Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry. Licensing headaches in the Mother series make a Western release of Mother 3 unlikely, yet they bizarrely included this classic in Earthbound’s hippie battles.”
Transformation – The World Ends With You
I strongly felt that something from The World Ends With You belonged on this list due to the series’ daring commitment, on the Nintendo DS of all things, to make its entire soundtrack a straight‑up rock and pop album. I was having trouble deciding which theme to go with, though, because while they’re all good, none of them really strike me as the level of off‑the‑charts wild that the Blue Dragon theme does.
Then I remembered that Transformation, Minamimoto’s absolutely fantastic boss theme, enters the regular battle song rotation in Week 3. Let’s GO. (The remix in NEO is pretty great, too!)
We need to keep the two paragraphs. The first paragraph can be shortened: “The World Ends With You’s DS soundtrack is a full‑on rock and pop album, and while many tracks are great, none match the sheer wildness of Blue Dragon’s battle theme.”
Second paragraph: keep as is (including tag). Ensure we keep the same tag.
Battle Theme – Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
I want to take us briefly in another direction with this list, away from the hard, intense rock songs, and ask you all: what business does this have being a battle theme? This is a song for a minigame in Mario Party, or some pleasant phone hold music. I always find myself bouncing up and down a little while it’s playing. This is another one with a pretty great remix version in the remake. If you want a bonus second theme along these same lines of upbeat minigame music, enjoy Kiss of Jealousy from Live A Live, and from the remake of that too!
We can rewrite: “This upbeat tune feels more like a Mario Party minigame or phone hold music, yet it’s used as a battle theme. The remake includes a great remix, and you can also enjoy Kiss of Jealousy from Live A Live and its remake version.”
Mime Battle – Clair Obscur: Expedition 33
I don’t know man, you can put whatever you want from Clair Obscur on this list I think and it works. And I don’t want to hear any nonsense about how the Mimes are bosses. There are like a hundred of them in this game or something. Mimes everywhere. All with the same set of attacks.
Rewrite: “You can put any Clair Obscur track on this list, and the Mime battle theme works fine. There are dozens of Mime enemies, all using the same attacks, so don’t worry about them being bosses.”
Chaotic Dance – Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean
When my partner sent me the Blue Dragon theme, this was what I immediately thought of. Then I wrote this whole list, and recalled that Chaotic Dance wasn’t a regular battle theme, explicitly breaking my own rule. So I included it on here as a little bonus treat in addition to the other five songs. It’s really that wacky and good!
Rewrite: “When my partner sent the Blue Dragon theme, I thought of Chaotic Dance right away. Although it isn’t a regular battle theme and breaks my own rule, I’m adding it as a bonus because it’s delightfully wacky.”
Final paragraph:
Have a nice weekend, everyone!
Keep as is.
Now count words. Let’s approximate.
Paragraph 1: maybe 45 words.
Paragraph 2: 30.
Paragraph 3: 35.
Paragraph 4: 45.
Total before headings: ~155.
Now headings paragraphs:
OFF paragraph: maybe 80 words.
Deep in Coma: 35.
Fit Battle: 30.
New Age Retro Hippie: 45.
Transformation: first paragraph 45, second paragraph 30 (including link). So ~75.
Battle Theme: first paragraph 45, plus three links (but text maybe 30). So ~75.
Mime Battle: 30.
Chaotic Dance: 30.
Final paragraph: 10.
Sum maybe ~500? Let’s compute more precisely.
Let’s write out full text with headings and paragraphs, ensuring each
is closed properly. Need to keep
tags exactly.
We must ensure that each
is separate. Also need to keep tags exactly as they appear, including spaces. Ensure we don’t add extra spaces inside tags.
Let’s craft final HTML:

Earlier today, my partner asked if I’d ever be interested in playing the 2007 Xbox 360 RPG Blue Dragon. Even in our gaming‑centric home, the question seemed odd, but he explained that an unofficial PC port has surfaced (as spotted by VGC). It’s great that the game will finally be playable outside the Xbox 360.
I turned down the invitation because I’m busy, but later he sent me the regular‑ass battle music from Blue Dragon, composed by Nobuo Uematsu of Final Fantasy fame.
The track starts with a few guitar measures, then a wailing, slightly out‑of‑tune vocal line with 90s‑style anime lyrics, all while rocking hard to keep battle momentum alive.
I love RPGs that aren’t afraid to be unconventional with their music—calm boss themes, sad field music, odd lyrics, rare instruments. Since it’s Friday, let’s celebrate Blue Dragon’s PC arrival by listening to other wild, regular battle themes (not boss fights).
OFF – Pepper Steak
Let’s start with an oldie but goodie: Pepper Steak (or, if you run with the typo, Peper Steak). Oh, sorry, you think this one is disturbing? Yeah, it’s meant to be. OFF is an RPG about a baseball player “purifying” a messed‑up world of blood and meat and plastic by murdering all the ghosts who live in it. Yes, really. Pepper Steak is probably its most infamous theme, with its weird, haunting swing and frequent dissonance and irregular rhythms. Alias Conrad Coldwood, the composer, was unable to return for the 2025 remake, so Toby Fox and Camelia stepped in to make themes for each different zone instead of one overarching Pepper Steak replacement. I have not a single bad word to say about anything Fox has ever composed, but I do think (and he seemed to agree in his statement about it) that it was always going to be impossible to replace Pepper Steak.
Deep in Coma – Shadow Hearts: Covenant
I haven’t played Shadow Hearts, but this battle theme is bizarrely used for ordinary enemies throughout much of the game, despite its puzzling plot.
Fit Battle – Ring Fit Adventure
Nintendo, why isn’t this on the Nintendo Music app? It’s workout music that fits Ring Fit Adventure, but they really turned it up a notch.
New Age Retro Hippie – Earthbound
This is simply Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry. Licensing headaches in the Mother series make a Western release of Mother 3 unlikely, yet they bizarrely included this classic in Earthbound’s hippie battles.
Transformation – The World Ends With You
The World Ends With You’s DS soundtrack is a full‑on rock and pop album, and while many tracks are great, none match the sheer wildness of Blue Dragon’s battle theme.
Then I remembered that Transformation, Minamimoto’s absolutely fantastic boss theme, enters the regular battle song rotation in Week 3. Let’s GO. (The remix in NEO is pretty great, too!)
Battle Theme – Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
This upbeat tune feels more like a Mario Party minigame or phone hold music, yet it’s used as a battle theme. The remake includes a great remix, and you can also enjoy Kiss of Jealousy from Live A Live and its remake version.
Mime Battle – Clair Obscur: Expedition 33
You can put any Clair Obscur track on this list, and the Mime battle theme works fine. There are dozens of Mime enemies, all using the same attacks, so don’t worry about them being bosses.
Chaotic Dance – Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean
When my partner sent the Blue Dragon theme, I thought of Chaotic Dance right away. Although it isn’t a regular battle theme and breaks my own rule, I’m adding it as a bonus because it’s delightfully wacky.
Have a nice weekend, everyone!
Now count words. Let’s approximate quickly.
Paragraph 1: “Earlier(1) today,(2) my3 partner4 asked5 if6 I’d7 ever8 be9 interested10 in11 playing12 the13 200714 Xbox15 36016 RPG17 Blue18 Dragon.19 Even20 in21 our22 gaming‑centric23 home,24 the25 question26 seemed27 odd,28 but29 he30 explained31 that32 an33 unofficial34 PC35 port36 has37 surfaced38 (as39 spotted40 by41 VGC).42 It’s43 great44 that45 the46 game47 will48 finally49 be50 playable51 outside52 the53 Xbox54 360.55” => 55 words.
Paragraph 2: “I1 turned2 down3 the4 invitation5 because6 I’m7 busy,8 but9 later10 he11 sent12 me13 the14 regular‑ass15 battle16 music17 from18 Blue19 Dragon,20 composed21 by22 Nobuo23 Uematsu24 of25 Final26 Fantasy27 fame.28” => 28 words.
Paragraph 3: “The1 track2 starts3 with4 a5 few6 guitar7 measures,8 then9 a10 wailing,11 slightly12 out‑of‑tune13 vocal14 line15 with16 90s‑style17 anime18 lyrics,19 all20 while21 rocking22 hard23 to24 keep25 battle26 momentum27 alive.28” => 28 words.
Paragraph 4: “I1 love2 RPGs3 that4 aren’t5 afraid6 to7 be8 unconventional9 with10 their11 music—calm12 boss13 themes,14 sad15 field16 music,17 odd18 lyrics,19 rare20 instruments.21 Since22 it’s23 Friday,24 let’s25 celebrate26 Blue27 Dragon’s28 PC29 arrival30 by31 listening32 to33 other34 wild,35 regular36 battle37 themes38 (not39 boss40 fights).41” => 41 words.
Now OFF paragraph: Let’s count.
“Let’s1 start2 with3 an4 oldie5 but6 goodie:7 Pepper8 Steak9 (or,10 if11 you12 run12? actually “run” is word) let’s recount properly.
“Let’s1 start2 with3 an4 oldie5 but6 goodie:7 Pepper8 Steak9 (or,10 if11 you12 run13 with14 the14 typo,15 Peper16 Steak).17 Oh,18 sorry,19 you20 think21 this22 one23 is24 disturbing?25 Yeah,26 it’s26 meant27 to28 be.29 OFF30 is31 an32 RPG33 about34 a35 baseball36 player37 “purifying”38 a39 messed‑up40 world41 of42 blood43 and44 meat45 and46 plastic47 by48 murdering49 all50 the51 ghosts52 who53 live54 in55 it.56 Yes,57 really.58 Pepper59 Steak60 is61 probably62 its63 most64 infamous65 theme,66 with67 its68 weird,69 haunting70 swing71 and72 frequent73 dissonance74 and75 irregular76 rhythms.77 Alias78 Conrad79 Coldwood,80 the81 composer,82 was83 unable84 to85 return86 for87 the88 202589 remake,90 so91 Toby93 Fox94 and95 Camelia96 stepped97 in98 to99 make100 themes101 for102 each103 different104 zone105 instead106 of107 one108 overarching109 Pepper110 Steak111 replacement.112 I113 have114 not115 a116 single117 bad118 word119 to120 say121 about122 anything123 Fox124 has125 ever126 composed,127 but128 I129 do130 think131 (and132 he133 seemed134 to135 agree136 in137 his138 statement139 about140 it)141 that142 it143 was144 always145 going146 to147 be148 impossible149 to150 replace151 Pepper152 Steak.153″
Count maybe 153 words. That’s a lot. Might exceed limit. Need to reduce overall words to under 500. Let’s see total so far: 55+28+28+41 = 152. Add OFF 153 => 305. Already over half of 500. Need to trim.
We need to shorten paragraphs, especially OFF. Also maybe combine some paragraphs.
We can condense earlier paragraphs to be shorter.
Goal: total under 500 words. Let’s aim for ~450 words.
We can shorten the initial paragraphs: maybe combine into two paragraphs.
Let’s rewrite initial paragraphs more concisely.
Paragraph 1 (combined): “Earlier today my partner asked if I’d ever play the 2007 Xbox 360 RPG Blue Dragon. Even in our gaming‑centric home, the question seemed odd, but he said an unofficial PC port has surfaced (as spotted by VGC), so the game will finally be playable outside the Xbox.” That’s about 45 words.
Paragraph 2: “I declined because I’m busy, but later he sent me the regular‑ass battle music from Blue Dragon, composed by Nobuo Uematsu of Final Fantasy fame.” That’s about 25 words.
Paragraph 3: “The track begins with a few guitar measures, then a wailing, slightly out‑of‑tune vocal line with 90s‑style anime lyrics, all while rocking hard to keep battle momentum alive.” That’s about 30 words.
Paragraph 4: “I love RPGs that aren’t afraid to be unconventional with their music—calm boss themes, sad field music, odd lyrics, rare instruments. Since it’s Friday, let’s celebrate Blue Dragon’s PC arrival by listening to other wild, regular battle themes (not boss fights).” That’s about 45 words.
Now total before headings: 45+25+30+45 = 145 words.
Now OFF paragraph: need to shorten significantly. Let’s rewrite:
“OFF’s Pepper Steak (or Peper Steak) is a deliberately disturbing theme. The game follows a baseball player “purifying” a world of blood, meat and plastic by killing its ghostly inhabitants. The haunting swing, frequent dissonance and irregular rhythms make it iconic. Composer Alias Conrad Coldwood couldn’t return for the 2025 remake, so Toby Fox and Camelia created zone‑specific tracks, but replacing Pepper Steak proved impossible.” Let’s count words.
“OFF’s1 Pepper2 Steak3 (or4 Peper5 Steak)6 is7 a8 deliberately9 disturbing10 theme.11 The12 game13 follows14 a15 baseball16 player17 “purifying”18 a19 world20 of21 blood,22 meat23 and24 plastic25 by26 killing26 its27 ghostly28 inhabitants.26? Wait need recount.
Let’s write clean:
“OFF’s Pepper Steak (or Peper Steak) is a deliberately disturbing theme. The game follows a baseball player “purifying” a world of blood, meat and plastic by killing its ghostly inhabitants. The haunting swing, frequent dissonance and irregular rhythms make it iconic. Composer Alias Conrad Coldwood couldn’t return for the 2025 remake, so Toby Fox and Camelia created zone‑specific tracks, but replacing Pepper Steak proved impossible.”
Count words:
OFF’s(1) Pepper2 Steak3 (or4 Peper5 Steak)6 is7 a8 deliberately9 disturbing10 theme.11 The12 game13 follows14 a15 baseball16 player17 “purifying”18 a19 world20 of21 blood,22 meat23 and24 plastic25 by26 killing27 its28 ghostly29 inhabitants.30 The31 haunting32 swing,33 frequent34 dissonance35 and36 irregular37 rhythms38 make39 it40 iconic.41 Composer42 Alias43 Conrad44 Coldwood45 couldn’t46 return47 for48 the49 202550 remake,51 so52 Toby54 Fox55 and56 Camelia57 created58 zone‑specific59 tracks,60 but61 replacing62 Pepper63 Steak64 proved65 impossible66.
So 66 words. Good.
Now Deep in Coma paragraph: shorten.
Original: “I haven’t personally played Shadow Hearts, but I guess this battle theme plays when you go to Japan? Anyway, someone has tried to explain the plot of this game to me a few times, and it hasn’t stuck, but dang if this isn’t an absolutely bonkers thing to have as your regular, normal battle theme for regular, normal enemies for a good chunk of the game.”
We can rewrite: “I haven’t played Shadow Hearts, but this battle theme is bizarrely used for ordinary enemies throughout much of the game, despite its puzzling plot.” Count words: I1 haven’t2 played3 Shadow4 Hearts,5 but6 this7 battle8 theme9 is10 bizarrely11 used12 for13 ordinary14 enemies15 throughout16 much17 of17? Wait count properly.
” I1 haven’t2 played3 Shadow4 Hearts,5 but6 this7 battle8 theme9 is10 bizarrely12 used13 for14 ordinary15 enemies16 throughout17 much18 of19 the20 game,21 despite21? Wait duplicate. Let’s rewrite more clearly:
” I haven’t